So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize