$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
