wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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