Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
