I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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