You work out of a Hotel?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
