we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
