You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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