i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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