I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
