I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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