seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
