You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
