Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
