I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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