I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
