check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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