his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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