doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
