She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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