drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
