i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
