Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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