Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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