I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
