I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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