Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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