Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
