Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i've created a new STD.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
