i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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