everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
