5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I had to cum in my sink.
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