ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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