Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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