wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
