There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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