I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
