were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
