Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
