Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
