someone threw a dead crab at me
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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