my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
