are you still at the devil's house?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
