eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
