just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize