youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
