i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
