His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
where does the pee come out of this thing
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
