my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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