I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
