It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
