I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize