You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
