so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Reggie can tackle my bush.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
