dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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