I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I use my feet as sexual weapons
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
