Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
